Speaking without thinking

(picked these up on the Internet - forgot where.  If you know,
 please tell me, so I can give credit where credit is due)

Moments when saying nothing might have been wiser:

Question: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
*Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country" *Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
*Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.  I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
*Mariah Carey, pop singer

"What a tragedy!  The world will never see another basketball player like him."
*Mariah Carey on the news of the death of King Hussein of Jordan.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.  We are the president."
*Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
*Vice President Dan Quayle

"The police are not here to create disorder.  They're here to preserve disorder."
*Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party Convention

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
*Former U.S.  President Dwight D.  Eisenhower

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
*Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
*Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana ...  The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
*Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22, 199x

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
*Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"They're multipurpose.  Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
*Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia.  It's only the people who make them unsafe."
*Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia

"The president has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
*Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"

"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."
*Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jack ass, and I'm just the one to do it."
*A congressional candidate in Texas

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
*General William Westmoreland, during the war in Vietnam

"Ever since I was a kid, I've always been a real deep thinker and stuff..."
*Billy Ray Cyrus


Is it any wonder why the term "sports scholarship" seems to be an oxymoron?

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "to win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime heavyweight Andrew Golota: He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back." (1981)

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?" (1966)

Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time." (1981)

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." (1991)

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating." (1986)

Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker." (1991)

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot." (1996)

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' " (1991)

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." (1991)

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." (1987)